How to be Interesting P.1

.....Since no one seems to read my blog I've considered opening up and telling people what I really want to say to them without them ever reading it. For instance, I could tell that guy he ticked me off and he doesn't even know it because I'm too nice to tell him. Or maybe I could sing a song to my friend explaining that I don't trust her anymore.
.....But on the off-chance, the way, way off-chance, that one of them actually read what I wrote, well, I'd feel bad. Oh, and this blog isn't a confessional. It's to develope writing skills, gosh! Oh goodness, I sound like Napolean Dynamite. (Develope my skills and whatever I feel like! Idiot!) But that's not even a good enough reason, is it? I need something utterly AMAZING on this site! Oh, I know what you're all thinking: "You're already talking about you! What's more amazing than that?"
.....But honestly, people, I am not falling for it this time. *Ahem* You know what I need? I word of the day!! Or a lesson, perhaps. I try to teach lessons throughout my stories, if you haven't noticed my little morals section at the bottom. But it needs to be official. Starting tomorrow.
.....And the moral of this story is: You should read my blog.

Spirit of Christmas!

.....I have a heart-warming story for you today. A little break from my attempts at comedy.
So once upon...three days ago, my parents went in to Aldi's (a store-from Germany- for people who are trying to save money like us) while I stayed in the Green Machine (an extended mini-van) to watch my younger brother and his friend. Well, my parents shopped around and were ready to check out. They let a man with less groceries than them in front of them. Well, the old woman in front of him forgot her check book. She didn't have a lot of groceries, but she had nothing to pay for them with. So the man my parents showed polite kindness to showed great kindess to the old lady by paying for her groceries. Then he told her, "Merry Christmas."
I can just hear the "Awwww"s.
.....So there you have it. I'm less icy already.

Insanity Takes Over

.....My mother, though I love her dearly, can be as much of a nutcase as I. ;)
Let me relate to you our conversation last night:
Mom: "Is it noon- uh, midnight? I mean ten?"
Me: *laughs*
Mom: "Would you hand me a box?"
Me: "Uh.. sure... What kind?"
Mom: *focuses on her solitaire game*
Me: "Mom?"
Mom: "Hey, hand me the T.V."
Me: "Um, no."
Mom: "I mean, hand me the remote. "
....Yep, that's how it goes in my house. Sometimes she even addresses me as all of my brothers' names and a few pet names before she remembers that I am called Rachel. But sometimes I utter random nonsense that confuses the heck out of them, so I guess we're even. Oh, and all of my friends love my mom, too. So I guess nuttiness is pretty cool as far as parents go..
.....We're not the only nutters in the house, by far, let me tell you! There's my little brother, who is sarcastic in his sleep talking, my father, who chased me with one of those shock pens today, and my cat, who walks toward the van when I'm pulling into the garage but is deathly afraid of the street. And that's only the beginning.
Oh, yay, we're going to go decorate the tree. I'm going to see what happens and find out if I'll have a good story for tomorrow.

.....So the other night while I was getting ready to head upstairs for bed... woah that sentence is long and run-on-y. Anyway, my mom started telling me this story while I was taking a big drink of water. If you know where this is going, don't spoil it for yourself. Well, her story went like this:
....."This lady was telling me she didn't answer her door if the bell rang during the day. So I said, 'Really? Because I jump up to look out my window like this-'" and then she showed me.
.....If the thought of knocking on another's door and finding two crazed eyes peeking over a high window for a split-second doesn't make you either laugh or feel a little freaked, you must not be very fun. Because I spewed my entire drink all over my mom's face.
.....Yeah, I was already cracking up, but then my mom started laughing hard, too! Her hardest laugh ever! SO I laughed even harder than I already was, and I found myself quickly on my knees, choking for breath. I seriously thought, I'm gonna die. I'm going to die laughing because of my mother. All of those dreams have finally come true...
.....Well, obviously it subsided, because I'm typing here, now, right? Anway, I don't know if I have anything else that could top that this week. I'll have to think it over. Don't tell people jokes, or rather, anything that could possibly be taken as amusing, (my mother told me later she hadn't even finished the 'joke' yet) while others are drinking any kind of fluid. Sage advice, I know.

Call Backs

So yesterday were the auditions for a production of Beauty and the Beast. I only had to sing a sixty second solo (say that three times fast) and do some spins and kicks and a dance in front of the judges before they announced who were to stay for call backs. Well, my solo went great. Well, it wasn't the best, but I did pretty good, I guess. One of the judges said, "I could probably hear you if you went out to the park! You were actually loud." And I was reassured that that comment was positive, haha, but I wasn't so sure. Anyway, the spins? They were okay. I'm just lucky not to have seriously injured someone. The kicks were awful, I'm sure. But I understood the dance enough to help some other people with it, which has led me to be excruciatingly sore today. I can't even go down the stairs without yelping. Of course, that's to be expected when you don't normally jump in and out of squats three hundred times an hour.
So there we were, waiting for them to announce call backs. We'd been there all day. She was reading the numbers fast, but not fast enough. I was number 91, and my hands were sweating with anxiety. "80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 88, 89, 90, 91.." she called it. I got a call back! Woot! Uh-oh. That meant I had to do a cold reading of the script for a random part. I had been fine all day, but then the butterflies came. Only half-way, thankfully.
After a long time of seeing the same scene rehearsed, she called me up. Then she sent the rest back, and I was alone. I hoped desperately not to do something on my own. Then a few people started chanting, "Rachel, Rachel, Rachel..." Like, I'm so sure. Why try and make me blush before I've even done anything? Then she called up several more girls. She told us we were to sing "Home" which is performed by Belle in the play. I scolded myself for not listening to the soundtrack to the musical that Mom had gotten me beforehand. I didn't know the song. So I tried hard to listen to the others sing it before me, and to remember it. But I kept mixing it up with another song, and I sang several wrong notes when it came to my turn. I totally blew it! Ugh. And it was in front of EVERYONE.
Then she dismissed me without even having to do a cold reading, so I don't know what that means. But the worst part is- I have to wait THREE WEEKS to find out which part(s) I am to have! Oh dear me, I might die.
On another note, I performed a terribly stupid song I wrote on the guitar for an audience of several stuffed Care Bears and Elephants, and one of them kindly recorded it for me on my camera, so I might somehow post that on here tomorrow. Then you can hear how wonderful my hideous singing is.. Maybe I should turn this into a Sing-Along-Blog! Wouldn't that be fun? Vote in the poll =D even if you don't actually exist. Because no one reads my blog anyway,....... so why not do whatever I want with it?