The Most Evil of Evils... The Dentist

If you're as fearful of the dentist as I am... this probably isn't a good post for you to read.
I went to the dentist today. If you don't know, I'm very fearful of dentistry, and I hate it, too.
What's worse is the last time I saw him he had been calling me "the troublemaker". Yes, my brothers, he told me, were "angels" but I was the troublemaker.
I was there to have a cavity fixed. I have had five cavities and seven shots in my mouth. Don't get me wrong, I brush my teeth after every meal, and I floss once a day. I just have bad teeth. It stinks. Anyway, the only reason I agreed to go is because I've been wanting to straighten my teeth with braces forever. Well, I'm on my way and I'm freaking out, but not too bad, because he told me this was a small cavity. I handled the shot in my cheek like a champ. No crying, no complaining, and no anything.
It wasn't numb enough after the first shot, so he gave me another. It wasn't supposed to hurt again, but it did. That scared me a little. He also said that to dry up my mouth, I had to take this pill. But he gave me three. They all said "hope" on them.. which kind of freaked me out, honestly. Hope for what? That I won't die during my appointment? That he won't drill through the side of my head? I didn't ask.
So my mouth is dry and numb, and it's gettin hard to breath. I already have a lot of anxiety when I'm at the dentist, and this was no different, obviously.
The drill. The worst instrument used by the dentist. The noise that's like forks on a plate, the smell, and the site of smoke while it is IN your mouth... I have a panic attack every time I think about it. And today I'm almost positive he hit my nerve. Having your nerve hit with a drill is way worse than the shot, let me tell you. Then I got in trouble for jerking away because "that's dangerous". What a troublemaker I am. Another time I was sure he was drilling my cheek. That wouldn't have been good. And I know for a fact that the drill hit my tongue three times. Good thing it's still numb...
I talk like a weirdo, now, too. "Hey gahs... whasthhhupth?"
He showed me the tooth after he drilled in the mirror. What did he consider small? He drilled the entire inside of my tooth out! I'd hate to see have a big cavity...
I ended up wearing myself out, because every tool he inserted in my mouth I would tense up everything, and hold onto the chair's arms for dear life. One time he told me, "I'm not going to hurt you!" Yeah, right. If you become a dentist you must have some morbid passion for causing people pain. Just kidding, no offense to the nice dentists out there. Or mine.. if you're a blog reader and happen to see this... I sure hope not. Just in case.. I'm never going back. Kicking and screaming... never.
It's like a told my friend a few months ago, the only thing worse than a dentist is a dentist whose also a part time clown. Because the you know he's a murderer.
Or like I told my mom afterwards, "There's a reason we changed my old "Dentist Barbie" to "Evil Doctor Barbie" and rubber banded a gun to her hand."

Story of My Life

Today I'm going to tell you about what happened to me last night, got it? Ok, well this sort of thing is a natural occurence, let me tell you.
First off, my mom came home. Yay, cheers, all that happy stuff. I am honestly happy. Too bad my dad left the next morning.

Anyhoo, I hear her in the other room yell, "CRAPOLA!" which is something I've never heard her say ;) I laugh. Quite hard. Well, I would have, if she wasn't so angry. She was yelling at the trash. Then she tells me and my brother to take it out. So I get my bag before Chase does and walk outside. It's night, so it's dark, and I dont' even bother with the porchlight.
I decide, "I'm not scared of whatever animals are out there, I'm just going to do it."

Well, I wasn't scared. Until the raccoon tail hit my leg and ran under the bush by the porch.
So I was stuck on the driveway with an over-filled trash bag. I can't get back inside, because the animal is growling at me from the bush I just passed. And I can't put the trash in the barrel, because that's blocked by another, much bigger bush-like thing.

So I drop the trash and wrap the blanket around me tighter, and I bring my feet close together because I'm barefoot. I debate over yelling for a minute, then realise that's all I can do. So I yell for Chase for at least two minutes, raccoon still gritting its teeth together. I can tell he's standing at the storm door because he's shining his huge flashlight out of it and he turned the porchlight on. Finally he comes out after I all but scream his name.. ok, I screamed his name.
He starts walking towards me while I shriek, "STOP! GO BACK! OPEN THE GARAGE DOOR! NOOOOOW! BECAUSE THERE'S AN ANIMAL IN THE BUSH! OPEN THE DOOR!"
Of course, he doesn't listen to me. And he lays down on his stomach with the flashlight to look under the bush. So I yell louder,
"THERE'S A FREAKIN' ANIMAL IN THE BUSH! GET BACK INSIDE AND OPEN THE GARAGE DOOR NOW! OPEN THE FREAKIN' DOOR! I mean it! NOW! "

FInally, he does. And he throws a HUGE ol stinkin fit about how I have no right to be mad. And at this point of course I am TICKED and for some reason I'm worried about losing my voice.
Back to the correct tense, now...
Maybe I didn't scream as loud as I thought, I was trying to be respectful of the neighbors, haha.